I hold the philosophy that we should take 100% responsibility for where we’re at. No excuses and no blaming things outside of ourselves. It’s something that I believe we need to teach our children in order for them to lead successful lives. In the process, we can remind ourselves, too. As students mature and start to gain more responsibility in making decisions, we can help them understand that all decisions have consequences. Sometimes, very serious.

All decisions, even one of inaction, have consequences.

No one talks about taking personal responsibility better than Jack Canfield in his book, The Success Principles. He talks about responsibility, and the power of it, through E+R=O (Event plus Response = Outcome).

We usually blame the event when something doesn’t go our way. The problem is, we’re putting the power outside of ourselves. There’s nothing we can do about external events. But what can we change? The response, to get the desired outcome.

This is what Canfield’s E+R=O method represents. Change your response to get different results.

Canfield urges us all to reconsider our relationship with our reality, prompting us to take a step back and realise that we’re not entitled to anything, just because we exist. But as Canfield importantly states, there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live.

That person is you.

You can’t blame the event for your lack of results.
You can, instead, change your response to the event.

This is one of the most powerful things you can teach your children. Help them observe and understand when their actions are coming from bad, unhealthy habits. And remind yourself of this, too.

Regain control over your thoughts and behaviours.

Taking 100% responsibility. Yes, it’s harder than blaming.
But, it’s essential to be successful & fulfil your dreams.

It’s easier to blame the weather, the teacher, our parents, a lack of good equipment – the list goes on. Give up on all the excuses and take the position of whatever you’re currently experiencing is a result of how you’re responding to the event, rather than the situation itself.

Do this and you’ll empower yourself. Remember, no good can come from blaming and complaining. Literally, nothing.

So, how do you know when you’re acting this way?

You either create or allow everything that happens to you. Learn when you’re being passive.

Canfield talks about yellow alerts, both external and internal. These are the things about to happen or aren’t going to work out. Don’t deny the yellow alerts. Don’t become a victim.

External yellow alerts:

My mother warned me.
My teachers told me.
My friends weren’t sure, either.

And, the internal yellow alerts:

That feeling in my stomach.
That deep fear that I couldn’t explain.
That dream that woke me up.

Do this together with your children, making the yellow alerts your compass to guide you to success. The most accomplished people don’t let disasters stop them in their tracks. They don’t live out their excuses.

While this certainly isn’t easy, it’s the mindset that successful people maintain. Start from a young age by helping foster your children’s success mindset.

The post Taking Personal Responsibility appeared first on SuccessDNA.

Successful people have mastered social competencies, like managing emotions, their drive to achieve goals and adaptability. They’re all centred around emotional self-management.

The great Napoleon Hill said it well: “Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

Let’s talk about beliefs.

What are beliefs?

A belief is something you see to be true – a guiding principle that can provide direction in life. Beliefs are performed, pre-organised approaches to perception that filter our self-dialogue and the way we perceive the world.

Beliefs tell our brain how to make sense of something that’s happening. When you believe something to be true, you literally go into a state of it being true. Belief is nothing but a state, an internal representation that governs your behaviour. So, it’s a doorway to excellence and success, if we learn how to train our minds.

Beliefs are choices. To be excellent, you must embody the belief system of those who are successful.

Stop for a moment and explore what beliefs you have.

Choose your beliefs wisely.

What you believe in is determined by a range of factors that include:

• Environment & events
• The information you consume
• Past situations. For example, if you succeed once, it’s easier to form the belief you’ll succeed again. Believing it can be done becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• Future predictions. Your mind creates a clear image of the result you want and represent it to yourself as if you have already achieved it. You’ll go into the kind of state that’ll support you in creating that result.

The beliefs that lead to excellence usually follow this success cycle:

Potential > Action > Results > Belief / Certainty

Defining your self-belief means you trust in your own abilities. It’s developed from the inside. To do this, it requires perseverance, effort, and belief in your capabilities.

We’ll leave you with five tips to help you overcome self-sabotaging beliefs.

1. Meditate to improve your focus.
   This mind-clearing activity is becoming more common in our everyday lives, and for good reason. By spending time each day, twice a day, focusing on what you want and envisioning it, you’ll begin to bring it to pass and act in accordance to your vision.
2. Stop putting yourself down.
   Your language is everything. Avoid making casual covenants, because what we speak about we bring about.
3. Love yourself.
   This is harder for teenagers as they’re getting to know who they are. But, it’s important to always remind them of (and yourself). The most powerful emotions are love, gratitude, faith, and trust.
4. One step at a time.
   You only need to take the next best step. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need to know how. You’ll figure it out along the way, through trial and error.
5. Celebrate your wins.
   We’ve spoken about the power of rejoicing in small wins. Stop and smell the roses every so often. Remember, gratitude is one of the highest emotions, and when we are operating in it, we are attracting all that we wish for.

Of course, you’re going to need to guide your child through these five factors but, with time, they’ll become habits and help instil a success-oriented mindset.

A mindset that can overcome any limiting belief that comes their way.

The post Limiting Self-Beliefs appeared first on SuccessDNA.

For students, Year 12 is often perceived in quarters: the four terms. But, like any big achievement, it’s a sum of its parts. And to continue moving forward with confidence and motivation, those mini milestones should be celebrated.

Those little moments are actually really big. That science test your child passed got them one step closer to graduating. Scoring third place in a swimming carnival also matters. It’s important to teach our children (and remind ourselves) that big successes don’t happen overnight. We tend to focus on end goals rather than the small, significant steps that, when compounded over time, lead to success.

Top up your motivation cup.

Motivation for us is like fuel for a vehicle – it keeps us going. When we’re not feeling inspired and energised, it’s often because we lack clarity about what’s around the corner. Acknowledging the, seemingly, small incremental steps along the way sparks the reward circuitry of our brains and releases endorphins that gives us the feeling of pride. This becomes a natural motivator and prompts us to continue forward.

Appreciation & gratefulness is key.

In the school environment, a student’s ATAR is often the focus. But what we forget to realise is that, in order to achieve a good result, students need to “show up”, 365 days a year. In the face of adversity, pressure or stress, this can be challenging. This is where appreciation comes in.

As a family, make it a priority to celebrate the small wins. Sit with your children and acknowledge what they’ve achieved. Make it a daily or weekly habit to verbally appreciate their hard work and reward it, if needed. Our brains need reinforcement, so creating space to be rewarded will encourage progression. Those positive actions soon become habits, when done often (and celebrated).

Cook their favourite meal, write them a personal letter, plan a weekend away, and tell them how much you love them. Observe what your child loves and find a way to include it into how you celebrate their small wins.

The incremental power of small steps.

Try doing these things to build, or continue, their momentum towards success.

• Break down large goals into parts

While their teachers are preparing them at school for the big goal – end of year exams – help your child set small, achievable goals. This way, they can see (and celebrate) progress. Put them on the fridge so everyone in your family knows when they’re completed.

• Track their progress

Make time for weekly, scheduled blocks of time where you sit with your child and reflect on recent successes. This helps keep them accountable but also explores any barriers or issues they’re having.

• Use visualisation

Don’t underestimate the power of visualisation. Spend a day creating a vision board with all the things your child loves, as well as hopes for the future. Whatever they dream of for their future, put it on the board. Every few weeks, add imagery to it.

Fuel your child’s motivation, trigger their perceptions and help them become the most successful version of themselves by celebrating every single milestone.

The power of progress is a beautiful, but underutilised tool.

Celebrate those catalyst actions.

The post Celebrate small wins appeared first on SuccessDNA.

From moving house to watching parents’ divorce, students face all types of changes. Whether it’s big or small, they can turn adversity into success with tools and resources. When practised, it’s a skill that can guide them successfully through not just school but also life.

A lot of research has been done on the link between performance and adverse adolescent experiences. We’ve explored this topic too, through lengthy interviews with students. It’s clear that youth experience a range of adversities – from losing a parent, dealing with divorce and personal illness to suicidal thoughts, pregnancy, and simply partying too hard as a coping mechanism.

How to succeed against the odds.

It’s easier said than done. How did they do it?

It’s easy to think we’re ‘glass half full’ people until tragedy strikes. So, what sets resilient students apart?

Despite the adversity, certain qualities linked the resilient students. They displayed an ability to bounce back from the inevitable setbacks, obstacles and roadblocks. They showed characteristics including a positive mindset, looking for a lesson, and faith in the future. There’s a sense of empowerment, of taking control and looking at setbacks as an opportunity to build resilience.

What does resilience look like?

• A goal for the future
• An unwavering commitment to succeed
• Positive and high expectations of themselves, with a no-excuse attitude
• Continuous, daily effort
• Obvious sense of responsibility
• Support network, often self-created
• High locus of control, self-empowered
• A success mindset with a long-term focus – they take control of their own thoughts and see opportunities where others viewed obstacles.

The support network is everything.

Resilient students seek support both at home and school. They have at least one person who they can rely on. The essential ingredient to resilience is caring relationships with adults. Whether it’s a parent, teacher, counsellor or role model, these students had at least one person who they could turn to for advice throughout the challenging time. This made a big difference in their ability to not only cope but succeed.

Family plays an important role. Regardless of where that support comes from – a parent, uncle, sibling or grandparent – these students know their family loves them unconditionally. Creating a strong family unit helps to let the child know they belong and are part of something. This leads to a positive, meaningful attitude towards school.

Growth follows suffering.

Simply being there for your child can go a long way. Keep the lines of communication open, show an interest in all parts of their life and don’t try to control every situation. Let them learn for themselves. Provide order, structure and most importantly, stability. Especially for Year 12 students, as their world is changing fast.

Divorce, death, illness, troubled peers, bullies, peer pressure and identity shifts all impact on a student’s ability to perform. Encourage your child to invest in quality friendships, both in and out of school. Plan a family night once a week to create a space to talk about what’s going on in their life and instil that feeling of support. Celebrate the small wins (which we’ll be talking about next time).

It’s easy to remain optimistic in positive times but to experience ‘failure’ or loss and overcome it brings us closer to a state of self-realisation. Suffering can be our greatest teacher.

The post Achieving in adversity appeared first on SuccessDNA.

Time management is important, of course, but not enough gets said about preparing yourself: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If you’ve got a child in Year 12, it’s a great time to learn this because it’s crunch time – as they’re welcomed back from holidays with a stream of assignments that are all due at once.

The different forms of energy

When your teenager is hit with more responsibilities, looming deadlines and an increased workload, they need to be prepared. We’re not meant to run at full speed, for the entire year. Yet, this is expected in Year 12.

Lead performance expert, Tony Schwartz, talks about the four keys to transforming the way we work and live. And the core of his messages? Energy.

He says we can be our best when we move between depleting and renewing our body’s four core energy needs:

1. Physical energy – health
2. Emotional energy – happiness
3. Mental energy – focus
4. Spiritual energy – purpose.

See? It’s got little to do with time. Why? Because time is a limited resource and energy isn’t. Simple rituals and habits can help your children manage the (inevitable) setbacks that’ll occur – in Year 12 and beyond.

10 techniques to manage your energy

Here’s a few ways you can support your kids to maintain high energy levels to foster success:

1. Take daily naps: Schedule 10-30-minute naps around the time when their energy dips. Learn the signs of imminent energy flagging such as yawning, hunger, distraction and fatigue.
2. Exercise regularly: Teenagers might not want to listen to you when it comes to exercise (just yet), so encourage sport with their friends. It’s good for their physical and social health. Plan nightly family walks after dinner, too.
3. Happiness triggers: Identify their ‘sweet spot’ activities. The things that bring them joy and fulfilment. It could be sport, music, art or spending time with friends. The same goes for their distractions. Know the things that interrupt their focus.
4. Discover values: Help them first find, then live, their core values from an early age. This will aid in building their resilience and ability to deal with adversity.
5. Journaling: While not every child loves writing, journaling is a great tool to help them process emotions and ‘get it out of their head.’ It can be done through other ways, too, like listening to music and walking. The point is for them to get to know themselves better.
6. Use the Pomodoro technique: This method uses a timer to break down work into focused blocks. Use your mobile phone and set the timer for 25 or 45 minutes (based on your length of focus) and take a five-minute break between the blocks. Breathe, meditate, grab a drink or go for a walk. Aim for five focused blocks without distractions. Do this with your child. It’s a good skill to learn at any age.
7. Tackle the hard things first: Determine what the hardest task is and start with it first thing in the morning. Our minds are alert, sharp, and ready to tackle the big, critical task of the day.
8. Avoid things that sap energy: Observe your child’s energy peaks but also when they’re feeling drained. It could be a person who’s taking their energy instead of uplifting it. Poor diet, screen time, and sitting down too much are also common energy suckers.
9. Learn to relax: Redefine your relationship with downtime. You don’t always need to be ‘on.’ Know the difference between when your child is being lazy or just needs a break.
10. Do an energy audit: Take time to identify the different ways that you either use up or deplete physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy. How could you improve in each area?

Go through the following questions:

• Waking up feeling tired?
• Working out enough?
• Taking regular breaks to renew and recharge?
• Finding yourself feeling irritable, overwhelmed, angry or emotionally volatile?
• Feeling like you don’t have enough time for the activities you love?
• Finding it difficult to focus on one thing at a time?
• When do you have the most energy during the day? What time does it start to drop?

Be honest with yourself. If you can do this, you’ll help set your children up for great success.

The post Manage your energy appeared first on SuccessDNA.

Chances are, you’re feeling a lot of different things. On one hand, you’re excited because you’re at the end of your 12-year progression through primary and high school. You’re becoming an adult and are ready to step out into the ‘real world’ – a new stage of life that you’re waiting to start, in anticipation. But then there’s the nerves and anxiety that come with such a pivotal year.

This pressure (from peer groups, parents or self-imposed) can be overwhelming. It’s crunch time. Your grades this year will determine which university or tertiary programmes you get into. This alone can make your palms sweat. But then there’s also the adjustments that often don’t get spoken about. Like sitting in home group on your first day back, knowing that it will be the last time you’re greeted back to school after the summer holidays. Your year will be filled with ‘last times’ and goodbyes… but that’s okay.

The link between emotional intelligence & performance

While you might not know what to expect this year, you can prepare for it. I encourage you to build your self-awareness. Emotional intelligence helps you understand and manage your feelings and behaviours, as well as the people around you. Emotions affect how and what we learn. If you can work on being more aware of your emotions and reactions, you’ll be able to better cope with the stress and pressure of Year 12.

The more you know yourself, the easier it is to know what you can and cannot take on. This will help you achieve balance and prevent burnout. Keep up your hobbies and make time for the things you love. Being self-aware, you will find the best way you study, too, because everyone is different. A large part of Year 12 is independent learning, so discovering how best you study early on is critical.

Drop the comparisons. Try to think big-picture instead of getting caught in the trap of comparing marks and feeling frustrated. Keep in mind that everyone has different circumstances, skills, abilities and interests.

Whatever you’re feeling, it’s natural. Remember, you’re not doing this alone. You’ve got your teachers, parents and peers supporting you. If you’d like extra help during this transitional time, send me an email about one-on-one mentoring.

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